


It Takes 2 To Tango

by Sashataakheru



Category: Anthropomorfic, Australian Free-To-Air TV Channels
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Genderless Characters, Other, Twitter made me do it, commercial television, crackfic, free-to-air television, public broadcasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which I turn a ridiculous OTP twitter relationship between the SBS2 and ABC2 twitter accounts into a ridiculous piece of fanfiction. Because someone had to write it, obviously. And that someone is usually me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Takes 2 To Tango

**Author's Note:**

> Well, since they're [Buzzfeed official now](http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/the-great-australian-love-story-is-happening-right-now-on-tw), obviously it was time to write fic. Written in 20 minutes straight after watching 'Conchita's Way to Eurovision', while trying to glare away a migraine. Expect ridiculousness. 
> 
> [Title requested by SBS2.](https://twitter.com/SBS2/status/471820348082487298)

ABC2 saw them across the bar, across the crowded room, sure zie hadn't seen them before, not in this club, at least. 'Must be a new channel,' zie thought, and smelt a hint of public broadcaster about them. Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to go over to them. After all, public broadcasters ought to stick together.

The new channel looked nonchalant, sipping a ridiculous cocktail zie had never seen before. Must be ethnic. The new channel certainly looked ethnic, unlike all the other pasty white channels in the club. The only exceptions were SBS, and NITV, who were blatantly visible amongst the throngs of straight white males. ABC2 thought it was a bit uncomfortable to look at, all things considered, but that was commercial broadcasting, after all. There be dragons, and white alpha males.

Not that ABC2 could talk. Zie wasn't exactly a box ticker in the diversity stakes. White, yes, but genderless and queer did make a difference. Young, too, and something of a hipster, as other channels were wont to tease. ABC2 didn't care. Zie would forever wear hir clothing of ambiguous gender, looking like a cross between a teenage boy and a butch dyke, with hardly any of the testosterone. Or, perhaps with some of the testosterone. It wasn't like zie'd ever tested that. But then again, zie was a TV channel. It was hardly high on hir list of priorities. 

"I haven't seen you round here before. You new, are you?" ABC2 said, sidling up to the new channel.

Zie was met with a curious gaze, dark eyes full of interest. "Launched last week. Things seem to be going quite well, all things considered."

"I'm ABC2. It's nice to meet you. Who do you belong to then?" ABC2 said.

The new channel gestured with their head towards SBS, who was currently having an arm wrestle with Go!, while 7mate watched on, cheering like a drunk idiot. 

"I'm SBS2. I believe we're now friendly rivals, given our similar target demographics. What do you think?" the new channel said, turning back to ABC2.

Recognition dawned. "Oh, yes, that's right. I did see that launch. Well done, you. I hardly count you as much of a rival, given we're practically cousins."

SBS2 smiled demurely. "You say that now, my friend..."

ABC2 was intrigued. "Go on."

There was a flash of their eyes, and then they stood, making to leave. ABC2 followed, catching them just as they reached the door. 

"Can I? I mean, I'd like to see you again," ABC2 said.

"Well, I'll be here every week. Though what would a channel like you want with me, anyway? I've got half the resources you've got, and half the viewership," SBS2 said.

ABC2 wasn't phased. "Yes, but I've seen what you can do with it, and by the gods I'm impressed. I doubt we could be that efficient. Then again, we don't run ads. It's sad to see them running with you too. But I guess you need the revenue, don't you?"

SBS2 brushed zem off. "It could be worse. We could be like, well." They didn't need to say. The sound of glass smashing, and shouting, answered their question well enough. 

ABC2 cringed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. If I were you, I'd find another place to drink. They're like this all. the. time. I'm so bored of it."

"So why haven't you found another place to drink at, then?" SBS asked pointedly.

ABC2 shuffled, hir hands finding their way to hir jacket pockets. "Well, I didn't have anyone to drink with, did I? I ain't going drinking with Aunty, and I hate those drunken yobbos. Bloody commercial channels. No bloody shame anymore. But you're here now, so I guess I could do worse than go drinking with you."

SBS2 offered a look. "Oh? Are you asking me out on a date? We've barely met."

"I might be. Why? Are you interested?" ABC2 said.

SBS2 thought a moment before replying. "You find us a quiet place to drink, and I'll think about it. I'll see you next week. You know where to find me."

And with that, they stepped out into the night. ABC2 watched them go, finally feeling like zie wasn't alone. Zie smiled, and headed back into the club, where zie arrived in time to see Aunty taking on Ten in a jelly wrestling match, in what appeared to be an unfair bout, since Aunty seemed to have all the weight behind them. Inside, ABC2 was quite proud of this, but appearances mattered, and zie went, instead, to nurse a beer in the corner, and try to keep out of the brawl that was going to erupt one way or another.


End file.
